My family lives in Wisconsin and Tiff's lives in Orange County so we split trips home into two parts. This means when we go home for the holidays we need full on jackets and boots as well as swim trunks and sneakers. This blog is for Wisconsin. The place I am from.
In Chicago my Aunts Sandra and Laura and their husbands met up with my cousins Lisa and Lori and their boyfriends for pizza at Lou Malnetti's. It was difficult to write that sentence and I'm not sure I did it correctly. The left hand side of this picture has known me since birth, the right since I was 4 or 5. This is the first time they have met. One of my cousins has a son who is 17 that I've never met. This is reasonable for Mid-westerners. We tend to have family we rarely see but can still enjoy a meal with.
Aunt Laura drove us to Madison where we rented a car, I then used that car to drive Tiffany and I to this place where I stole a rock for my Gramma Lila. She collects rocks from interesting places. I promised her a rock from this place over a decade ago, and finally made good on my promise. I'm a man of my word.
Then Tiff and I snapped this picture at someplace really far from where I got the rock. A place not connected at all. For legal reasons.
Then we drove north and I took this picture of the place where I had Vacation Bible School. I was going to make a joke about how it looked the same, but the building has clearly seen better days. We went there for a couple weeks for a couple summers. I wonder who paid for the kids to be there, where they came from and why they did it. Looking back they could have only been 16 or 17. Is there a Reddit AMA for I taught Vacation Bible School?
It was a couple miles down the road from my house. We rode our bikes there. Unsupervised. And nothing bad ever happened. It was non-denominational. They pretty much just taught the Golden Rule, which is a solid rule. Jonah and the whale, the moral lessons. No fire and brimstone, no pro life, no Jesus juice. Songs, crafts, kickball, Kool-Aid and see you kids tomorrow.
This was my grandpa's dog, now it's my Aunt Laura's. His name is Lassie. He's a good dog and he smells like dust, which to me, smells like home. My Gramma Jo and Granpa Bob always had collies and they always smelled like dust. I like that smell.
Later that week I took this picture of the first motorcycle I ever rode. From 2-9 years old, I put MILES on this hog. It was at the ball diamond. When I was a kid softball was a big deal. All the bars had men's team and a women's team and they would play at softball diamonds all over the place. They had rules like if you knock over the pitcher's pitcher of beer, it's a home run. This motorcycle has been sitting on the same spring since before 1977.
I played Dominoes with my Granny, Tiff and my step dad, Dan. I won and I took her money...If she couldn't afford it, she should not have gambled.
In Chicago my Aunts Sandra and Laura and their husbands met up with my cousins Lisa and Lori and their boyfriends for pizza at Lou Malnetti's. It was difficult to write that sentence and I'm not sure I did it correctly. The left hand side of this picture has known me since birth, the right since I was 4 or 5. This is the first time they have met. One of my cousins has a son who is 17 that I've never met. This is reasonable for Mid-westerners. We tend to have family we rarely see but can still enjoy a meal with.
Then Tiff and I snapped this picture at someplace really far from where I got the rock. A place not connected at all. For legal reasons.
It was a couple miles down the road from my house. We rode our bikes there. Unsupervised. And nothing bad ever happened. It was non-denominational. They pretty much just taught the Golden Rule, which is a solid rule. Jonah and the whale, the moral lessons. No fire and brimstone, no pro life, no Jesus juice. Songs, crafts, kickball, Kool-Aid and see you kids tomorrow. 
This was my grandpa's dog, now it's my Aunt Laura's. His name is Lassie. He's a good dog and he smells like dust, which to me, smells like home. My Gramma Jo and Granpa Bob always had collies and they always smelled like dust. I like that smell.
I also recorded most of the evening. I like to listen to her tell stories and she has one of the world's greatest laughs. Now I will have it forever.
This is me, Dan and Gram. Not in that order, I'm in the middle. I forget, until I see a picture how much taller I am than they are. My Gram has been exactly the same for at least 35 years. She went to Israel last year and is probably coming to Amsterdam this year. She does Yoga, rides her bike, snow shoes and saw the Great Depression. You should ASPIRE to be her.
Dan and I shot trap. I was not as good as I used to be, but I used to be REALLY good. I could regularly go 9 for 10 but I was lucky to hit 6 that day. We talked a lot about guns and gun control on this trip. This was only a few days after Newtown and I had a lot of questions. Dan told us stories of how easy it is to buy parts at gun shows to make fully automatic guns and how the government has created demand for bullets by making threats of bans instead of tightening loop-holes.
After shooting we put together a 500 piece puzzle that seemed to be 1 piece short, or I don't understand puzzles. Both are possible. I mean I didn't count the pieces and it's possible that all puzzles are like this and it's also possible that the tree had a blemish that looks exactly like a puzzle piece.
While we were there I cleaned my childhood bedroom for the first time in 18 years. I feel bad saying this, but I burned a bunch of books. Mainly old text books, like how to use Photoshop 2.0 and a water damaged English comprehension book. I kept an old uni-directional Sims snowboard in case they need one for the museum and I donated everything else; Beastie Boys bootleg cassettes, a guitar case, A bunch of Life In Hell books to a local thrift shop.
The next day we got cheese curds, at the dairy I was fired from (twice) and then drove thorough this snow storm to get to my Aunt Marj's house to hang out for the day. The drive to her house takes 40 minutes, we made it in just over 2 hours. This is a main road by the way.
That night we went to have dinner with my cousin Ron and his family. He has 6 kids all with HUGE personalities, they're pretty rad. In this picture there are 3 of them. I am Uncle Jungle Gym to them. They are monkeys.
The next day we drove to Madison and had dinner with my sister Stacy I didn't get any pictures with her and I'm kinda bent about it but we had dinner with her and her family. Later on, I saw Flywheel Jesse but he had to go to work early the next morning so he couldn't hang out too long.
This is Valerie, Deegan, Tiffany and myself at the end of Deegan's birthday party, but the beginning of his birthday. He was nice enough to move it up a day so we could hang for it. He's a good dude and my sister seems to like him.
The next day we had lunch at a restaurant near the Capitol of Wisconsin. It was cold as all get out but we walked down State St. I used to hang out on State St all the time, there was a while there when I didn't pay for anything, not a cup of coffee, a pair of shoes or CD if I didn't want to, I was the hook up KING. Now I don't recognize 90% of the stores. I bought hot chocolate from a place that ONLY makes chocolate. It was next to a store that sold wooden iPhone cases.
The next day Tiff and I got on a bus headed back to Chicago. We caught a 1 o'clock flight to Orange County. We'll pick up there next time.
The next day Dan gave Tiffany this gun to shoot at these crazy exploding targets he had. I showed them to my friend David the Scientist who broke them down chemically. He also told me there are two types of people who get into Chemistry; junkies and pyromaniacs. He was a pyro.
I shot a video of it exploding. I'll post it later.
Dan and I shot trap. I was not as good as I used to be, but I used to be REALLY good. I could regularly go 9 for 10 but I was lucky to hit 6 that day. We talked a lot about guns and gun control on this trip. This was only a few days after Newtown and I had a lot of questions. Dan told us stories of how easy it is to buy parts at gun shows to make fully automatic guns and how the government has created demand for bullets by making threats of bans instead of tightening loop-holes. 
While we were there I cleaned my childhood bedroom for the first time in 18 years. I feel bad saying this, but I burned a bunch of books. Mainly old text books, like how to use Photoshop 2.0 and a water damaged English comprehension book. I kept an old uni-directional Sims snowboard in case they need one for the museum and I donated everything else; Beastie Boys bootleg cassettes, a guitar case, A bunch of Life In Hell books to a local thrift shop.
That night we went to have dinner with my cousin Ron and his family. He has 6 kids all with HUGE personalities, they're pretty rad. In this picture there are 3 of them. I am Uncle Jungle Gym to them. They are monkeys.
This is Valerie, Deegan, Tiffany and myself at the end of Deegan's birthday party, but the beginning of his birthday. He was nice enough to move it up a day so we could hang for it. He's a good dude and my sister seems to like him.
The next day Tiff and I got on a bus headed back to Chicago. We caught a 1 o'clock flight to Orange County. We'll pick up there next time.
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